One way to improve writing is through revision. Revision is different than editing. Look at the word: revision means something like “see again.” The best way to revise is to read your initial work and then re-write it, without referring to the first draft. You’re not wanting to re-cast sentences, you’re wanting to write totally new sentences. In almost all cases, your second attempt will be better than the first.
In Class Activity
Read through the two paragraphs here and identify which was the first draft and which was the revision. Justify your choice by describing what changes were made between the two. What instruction might have been given to the writer of the first draft that helped them to get to the second?